Monday, November 4, 2013

Winning an argument

There was time when I could win any argument. Any. Argument.

A few months ago, an arrogant guy and I had an argument that went like this:

Guy: Ragging must be made illegal. The recent deaths should be an alarm for us to set this right.
Me: Laws will not curb ragging. We should change things at the ground level. The only way to fix the ragging deaths is to put a fine on the parents of the kids who die.
Guy: What nonsense! How will that help?
Me: Have you read War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy?
Guy: No. Why?
Me: You will understand what I mean when you do.
I gave him a condescending look and walked away the winner.

A few months later, this discussion happened with an all-knowing lady.

Lady: Obama's victory is a victory for all black men.
Me: Every second, there is a black man dying somewhere.
Lady: What's your point?
Me: Only when black men stop dying can we declare success for anti-racism
Lady: Dude, that doesn't make any sense.
Me: Have you read Leo Tolstoy's War & Peace?
Lady: Yes I have
Me: Oh. Ok, do you remember Chapter 14?
Lady: Not really. I'll have to read it again.
Me: Go read that chapter. You'll understand what I mean.
The same condescending look followed by a smirk and I walked away from her.

This has gone on like this for many years till this discussion with my good friend Amarjeet Biswa happened today:

Amarjeet: Corruption will be completely rooted out if this new Bill is passed.
Me: No chance that a Bill will stop corruption
Amarjeet: Oh yeah? Do you have a better solution? If you don't, stop objecting to the Bill.
Me: The only way to fix corruption at the grass-root level is Guns.
Amarjeet: Guns?
Me: Yeah. Everyone should be given guns. If someone asks you for a bribe, we can just shoot him. Complaining and taking him to court will take ages.
Amarjeet: That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
Me: Have you read Leo Tolstoy's War & Peace?
Amarjeet: Yes I have.
Me: Do you remember Chapter 14?
Amarjeet: Not really, but wait.
As I looked on stunned, Amarjeet pulled his Amazon Kindle out of the bag.

And that is why I hate these stupid e-book readers. I don't win any arguments anymore.
Posted on by Abhishek Jain | No comments

Sunday, October 20, 2013

A letter -Chitthi- Wrote in 2nd class

Dear Ladki,
Lady's finger is my favorite vegetable and my recent learning from Gulmohar English language book tells me that you are also a lady.  How spicy? I like spicy but the rest of the girls in class are all about being sweet. I like them too. But I like you more - not more than Cricket though.
I see you because I like seeing you. I even see you when no one else is seeing you. I see you at School in the morning prayer assembly. People close their eyes and pray to God. I do that at my home itself - I pray for you to stand right beside me in the prayer assembly queue so that I see you while rest of the school pray. Your school dress is my favorite dress too. You look best in your school dress. Would you meet me someday near my house, one evening in your school dress? Please.
I followed you one day when you went out of the class, asking the teacher, 'May I go to toilet?'. I did the same and followed you until the end. But I am not sure why do you not go to the same toilet I go to. It breaks my heart. I think you shall explain me someday. How about coming Children's day? 
I like your mummy too. She cooks well. I tasted it one day when I secretly skipped P.T Period and browsed your bag. Will you share your tiffin with me? I'll give you a chocolate - one every Monday. My dad gives me two every Sunday and I can give you one. I like your dad too. I overheard you one day while you were explaining Madhuri how your dad gives you pocket money and all. I think we can share that as well. You can buy me an ice-cream. I will kiss you for that. The way they do it in movies.
I like writing. I write well, no? I will write you many letters like this. You can read it while sleeping and keep my letters below your pillow. Will you write me one too? If you do, please make sure that you do not make a grammatical mistakes. I don't like grammatical errors.
See you (in tomorrow's morning assembly).
Yours grammatically,
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Friday, September 13, 2013


“Na thakenge, na rukenge, aur na jhukenge (We will not get tired, we will not stop and we will not bend),” says Narendra Modi in the latest advertisement followed by blowing of a conch shell.

Politicians are opportunists. They are characterized by a quest of power and desire to manipulate the majority. In the Great Indian Context, the most talked about politician, by the day is Mr. Modi!

As the people of Gujarat cast their vote there stands a dilemma in the mind of Mr. Narendra Modi. He knows, the time is right. And that his party stands in a dilemma today. They and everyone of us knows the Congress vote percentage would fall in 2014, thanks to 2G,CWG and RahulG .The BJP realizes that its chances lie in providing an alternative. And Modi knows that within the infighting, he would emerge the PM candidate. But in this very set-up hovers his dilemma.

To quote from a Hindustan Times column by Harinder Baweja “ Modi’s appeal was born out of anti-Muslim rhetoric that followed the 2002 riots. The ‘every action has a reaction’ justification of the mad violence that gripped Gujarat helped Modi in 2002 and even in the 2007 election.”

I do not wish to enter the debate over his role in the 2002 riots. I was an eight year old back then. One could of course read about it and so I did, but you cannot judge such events by what you read. For the writer, has a judgment of his own, which might trickle down to you.

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