Monday, November 4, 2013

Winning an argument

There was time when I could win any argument. Any. Argument.

A few months ago, an arrogant guy and I had an argument that went like this:

Guy: Ragging must be made illegal. The recent deaths should be an alarm for us to set this right.
Me: Laws will not curb ragging. We should change things at the ground level. The only way to fix the ragging deaths is to put a fine on the parents of the kids who die.
Guy: What nonsense! How will that help?
Me: Have you read War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy?
Guy: No. Why?
Me: You will understand what I mean when you do.
I gave him a condescending look and walked away the winner.


A few months later, this discussion happened with an all-knowing lady.

Lady: Obama's victory is a victory for all black men.
Me: Every second, there is a black man dying somewhere.
Lady: What's your point?
Me: Only when black men stop dying can we declare success for anti-racism
Lady: Dude, that doesn't make any sense.
Me: Have you read Leo Tolstoy's War & Peace?
Lady: Yes I have
Me: Oh. Ok, do you remember Chapter 14?
Lady: Not really. I'll have to read it again.
Me: Go read that chapter. You'll understand what I mean.
The same condescending look followed by a smirk and I walked away from her.


This has gone on like this for many years till this discussion with my good friend Amarjeet Biswa happened today:

Amarjeet: Corruption will be completely rooted out if this new Bill is passed.
Me: No chance that a Bill will stop corruption
Amarjeet: Oh yeah? Do you have a better solution? If you don't, stop objecting to the Bill.
Me: The only way to fix corruption at the grass-root level is Guns.
Amarjeet: Guns?
Me: Yeah. Everyone should be given guns. If someone asks you for a bribe, we can just shoot him. Complaining and taking him to court will take ages.
Amarjeet: That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
Me: Have you read Leo Tolstoy's War & Peace?
Amarjeet: Yes I have.
Me: Do you remember Chapter 14?
Amarjeet: Not really, but wait.
As I looked on stunned, Amarjeet pulled his Amazon Kindle out of the bag.


And that is why I hate these stupid e-book readers. I don't win any arguments anymore.
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