somethings stupid..

my experiments :)

* seeing the sunlight filtering thru a glass marble, a mesmerizing sight!
* seeing the fullmoon through a gold ring from the hostel terrace, the way the light disperses is fascinating!
* spending an hour beating coffee only with a spoonful of water, to check where the whiteness come from.. must be the sugar, coz it remained brown :(
* balancing a pencil on my finger, to check if the sharpened end is nearer to the center of gravity or not..it is! (many a pre-exam night has been gainfully employed in this experiment)

more experiments underway, the results will be displayed as and when concluded... abhi phir se fun time , so plenty of opportunity to experiment :D
tab tak, scientist ABHI signing off... * bustling back into my den/lab*
*big STUPID grin*:D

AM BACK!!

Sorry Guys and Gals! Did not post anything for quite some time now. But am back from the hibernation.

Have lots and lots of things to write, but it would really take some time to express every thought in my mind right now. Also, there would be some lag while I catch up with my regular visitors.

This blog is very dear to me, and I really want to nourish it with my thoughts and ever-so-precious feedback that people provide on this. Thanks for regular support! I hope you would not let the support die...

Life is Good

Hi Life

I know you've been doing good, so won't ask you the perfunctory questions as in "how be you" et al... I also know nothing much has been happening at your end, but that is what has surprised me... I am amazed to see that contentment finally creeping into you... I honestly don't understand how suddenly you've come to even like things which you earlier thought you didn't have the capacity or the will to do... But yes, I see a change... A change that really makes me more happy coz I know it will benefit you in the long run...

Looks like finally you seem to be learning, gaining a focus which is so required at the crossroads you currently are... I am happy to see you move, shift your priorities to where they should be... You still have a lot to learn & you sure will... But I am glad that today you accept your problems & are willing to counter them...

But, I know you through & through, I just hope you don't loose interest as you usually do... I've seen you do that on many occasions before, wish this time you are willing to go that extra mile & ready to accept criticism for what you do wrong & don't depend much on others for making yourself feel good about you... Things don't always go the way you want them to... So try & savour whatever comes your way, it's worth the experiment...

Anyways, there's a long way to go... I am there with you... Wish you a successful journey...
Take Care

How life changes...

A while ago,
just a while... I was with you
& now here I am
a thousand miles away,
away from what was life to me...
and yet I live...

Dear Jaipur,
You've been my city for the past four years... You adopted me, kept me in your folds... I lived a full life while I was there... Savoured your flavours old & new... Your feel, those meandering roads up & down the hills, will stay with me... And so will many other things which for now won't find a space here...

Memories are strange... Took you for granted when I was part of you... But when I am no longer with you, you form part of so many fond memories... Like all other things, I realize the value of the good times I had when they are past...

Today I am closer to things that I wanted to be with... But you win some, you loose some... And so I sit here typing, the dense fog invites me outside...

Can I say, I am back to where I belong... I do not know this... But all I can say is that this step is in a direction closer to my dreams... Wish me luck...

:)
With immense effort, ABHI

two different people

Am I just writing cause I am bored?? Really don't know now. There was a time when I blogged like crazy. Am I going back to square one? Who knows .... maybe.

We are two different people
In very different worlds that never meet
And yet we like each other's company
And take care of each other's needs

How is that we understand each other so well
And no one has known me better than you
How is it that I have never felt happier
Than when you are beside me

You love to keep talking
I can spend all my time listening to you
You can be very moody
I have the patience to stand in the rain and let the storm pass

Sometimes you dress up like a gypsy
Something that is quite alien to me
But deep inside it makes me smile
Cause that's something I have always longed to do

I can't win an argument with you
Nor did I ever want to
But this is something I cannot take
That two different people cannot convene

It's like two sides of a coin
Very different, very apart
And yet really they are the same
And wouldn't the coin be useless, if both sides turned out alike ?

Ever wondered...

(And I'm not cribbing here, just stating a few observations;)

Why when you are waiting for Bus A, Buses B would come in every minute and when you happen to wait for Bus B, the Buses A would flow by, and when you catch an auto both will overtake you?

Why everybody comments just on the latest post of a blog? Even the last but one fails to get a new reader's attention...

Why we fight with the neighbourhood vegetable hawker over a rupee but gladly pay a premium in some restaurant without batting an eyelid?

Had planned to stretch it to some more questions, but the mind refuses to think

There we are again!!!

Just when I thought, I was where I wanted to be, the games begin & a cloud of uncertainty prevails...

It amazes me how the past few years of my life have changed me... And now it can't seem to be undone...

Contradictions galore... The mind just can't seem to decide where it wants to go & what it's willing to shell out in the bargain... Everything comes at a cost, I know... But why???

Things do get lonely at times...

I've hardly believed in love... For me it is too ephemeral a feeling to go beyond a crush or a clumsy infatuation... Call me over-the-top pragmatic or whatever but I've realized that it takes a lot to see yourself in love... Maybe love is over-hyped or maybe it isn't meant for me... I do not know but I cannot ignore the value of companionship... I guess it is this yearn to be not alone that drives people to seek love... Often I've read that love is not about finding the perfect one, but in finding perfection in the one you love... too idealistic if you ask me... And yet I wonder at times when I'm alone if love would have filled this void... I remember when I wanted to know the difference between love & friendship, people quickly pointed out - it was s e x... So, if a person isn't interested in that or is getting enough of it; can friendship suffice for love? I'll never understand...

I'm seriously out of my senses, is all I can say...

I hate to push things... I believe they should take their natural course... This laid-back attitude has me cost me many times before but I can't seem to be otherwise... It takes a lot from me to move out of my equilibrium, to try & change... Yet somehow to fill in the gap between desires & reality, change is a must...

With immense effort...

ABHISHEK

Finally Came To Kno!

Something in my life for the first time i felt,

like taken aback from all my strength,

Some feeling struck me for the first time i guess,

like pushed down upon to the deepest darkness,

Tears rolled down my eyes for the first time i knew,

that made me almost cry not actually knowin what for they are,

Joy abonded my days for the first time i've seen,

that left me pain worsening my condition to death,

Searching i sat all the day for the first time as never before,

not even knowing for what i was searching for,

Thinking i was all my way for the first time i think,

not even knowing what to think about,

Dreaming became my routine for the first time in my life,

knowing even that they don't come true,

Worrying i stay all throughout for the first time ,

knowing nothing wrong will happen...

Time slowly passed away,

Days started going on,

One by one leaving me all alone,

once again bringing all these things back,

i groped all my way,

wishing to kno,

why actually they happend

&

what actually they mean

Finally making me helpless,worried,lonely n hopeless...

Came the answer from my heart saying...

"I MISS U DEAR FRIEND"

once again

oh no!! it seems like just yesterday  that our exams got over,and already v hv the new datesheet in hand..wonder when all this is going to end..or even more importantly..if i m going to last that long! as one of my fren says.."exams hi to hain,kaun-sa kumbh ka mela hai jo 12 yrs baad aata hai.."..so y worry, and btw this time is our final sem and have only 4 papers ! then again..there's the father's of all positive sayings.. "examiner marks hi to katega, gala to nahi!" (the examiner can do only so much as cut marks, not our throats!!) hmm..that's another positive way of looking at exams! hope i can just remember all this when the D-day does arrive!

optimism ...(continue post 99)

HELLO ,

  last time i wrote a post on "OPTIMISM ,REALISM  and PESSIMISM..." and one of my frenz or blog visitor swati suggest me for more explanation so i am writing here more..not sure that this is too much good ..i love when visitors read my post and mail me for expecting more from me for write better ..

OPTIMISM
Am in search of!!!

Its absolutely situational and short lived. The art of positive thinking they say, and at times the art of consoling n lying to ones own self –that’s what I say.
Ask those optimists, have they tasted the bitter failure, if yes then must have experienced the joy of success as well.

What if u find yourself in dark unending tunnels.
Of course you’ll try to tunnel out of the dark; but how long …there’s a limit to everybody’s patients …………
I’ve been trying though haven’t yet succeeded
But yeah!! The dark has tunneled through me, turning me into a pessimist.

CHANGE- that I’ll never was what I was determined of…
Though outwardly I haven’t yet ; the same old happy-go-lucky natured, confident, strong, ever smiling character for those around me, but I can feel changes cropping inside me.
One, who never believed in luck, destiny, has now stopped believing in hard work ‘cause hard work is rewarded at-times n not always. It’s your fate….how long it takes to journey till you reach that one desired end…
What matters is not talent but luck, what matters is not dedication but the final result.

EXPECTATION-is the root cause of all heartbreaks,
I being an ordinary man can’t stop expecting though.

HAPPY ARE THOSE WHO EXPECT NOTHING AND WORK FOR SELF-SATISFACTION.

- A philosophical statement with not an inch of practicality in it.

HAPPY ARE THOSE WHO ARE OPTIMISTS.

Being of a technical field, am into the habit of categorizing everything into distinct sections…………so are OPTIMISTS, exactly of 3 kinds-

First are those- born in luxury, riches, for them SUCCESS is a thing to be bought.
Second, being the luckiest ones (in my view), their life has been a perfect balance of bright summers to gloomy autumns to romantic monsoons. It’s they who say-keep faith and you’ll surely get it…everything will someday be fine…

I envy you, your fate my friend…

Third being the liars, sad at heart…. knowing nothing’s going to be fine but still consoling self saying goal is hiding behind the next U-turn.

I won’t lie, and the first two categories isn’t for me…

Pessimism (as you’ve termed me to be) gives me happiness, yes it gives!!!…’Cause it has taught me the way to live life to the fullest in no matter how small the triumph be…

PESIMIST-one who looks to the darker side of everything, every happening, but then the little success that they get gives them eternal bliss…this one hope gives me the inspiration to continue counting the shadows………..there again I’m hoping, expecting………….

Yes, I can’t stop expecting, but I’ve changed …I’ve started expecting the worst ……that’s the reason they call me pessimist…
WILL YOU TOO?????

cheers
Abhishek

post no.100 and a question to myself

Hello,
The most important things with this post is that i completed 100 posts on my blog  and this is a great achievement for my self . i never thought that i can write ..and people will  read my posts . But from 2008 many peoples support me for writing ..and appreciating me with there ideas and comments . thanx to all of u and i love u alot .

A recurring question??
Why do I write a blog? Why should I waste my time writing, when I am not sure whether nebody will read this? Why, at all?
Is this wastage of Mental Effort? No, not at all.
Reason being......

" A Blog a day,
keeps the psychologist away;
since writing a blog,
clears the smog and does not let your mind clog;
of the ideas that are crazy,
and this makes your day as lovely as a "daisy"!!

Hope this answers the question :-)

Will keep on writing more!!!!!!!

Till next time,
Good Bye

OPTIMISM,REALISM and PESSIMISM....

"Think positive and be optimistic"...a very oftenly used phrase..isn't it...but then sometimes i ponder upon one thing and that is does being optimistic drags me away from being realistic...or being a little realistic makes me a little pessimistic...because...reacting in certain situation..any hard u try to be optimistic u r bound to be affected by certain factors that force u to think negative and it effects u ...some say this is being realistic..but i have never been able to judge is it realism or is it some sort of pessimism..overcoming the optimism...
I am a very optimistic boy..but when i really want someone who is talking to me to feel positive about things...i get the statement u r not being realistic...ofcourse i dunot want to live away from reality but what i want is whenever i want to think what can happen in a certain situation i want myself to just imagine a positive outcome and that too without ignoring the actual situation or certain real life factors..there drags in a little pessimism..when u cannot simple put away the thought"agar aisa na hua aisa ho gaya tou"..so what is it exactly...pessimism or a little realisation of the things around....well i think i cannot really conclude about it because i am surrounded by all sorts of people so the best way out is judging everything and then making some sort of prediction and trying to make it a positive one...
living in fantasy world is ofcourse not welcomed but then living in a real world and still thinking that whatever happens happens for our own good and just putting in true efforts is what is right that is what i feel....:)

cheers
Abhishek

Hppy Marriage Anniversary to mom dad

Love and marriage
has been a long and difficult road.
Faith has been your carriage,
God has lightened your load.
Together you have progressed
to your 29th year,
with the words of God
whispering in your ear.
Your one life together
has you both united,
but the joys to come
have just been sighted.
I love you both
for being young at heart
and making an oath
never to depart.
You belong
side by side,
your passion strong
with nothing to hide.
God bless you two,
Mom and Dad.
Happy Anniversary!

song of the moment : dil ku mera shor kare ..idhar nahi udhar nahi , teri or chaley 

No Title

I am thinking – when i can go for a long vacation and roam the world doing random things, a new day, a new routine , that way i'll never be bored
I said – a lot but I don't quite remember anything
I want – the best. If you aim for something then it better be the best or don't aim at all
I wish – for the impossible.
I miss – school
I hear – the ringing in my ears, the keyboard and a lot more
I wonder – about mathematics and why I couldn't be better at it.
I regret – sometimes.
I am – a genius.
I sing – to myself, all the time.
I dance – slowly to begin with and then through the night.
I am not – a compulsive talker but you may get the feeling at times.
I write – because I want to be express myself .
I hate – people who think they know everything.
I confuse – emotions.
I should – stop being so lazy.

Alone

Alone

well.. dunno why  am feelin all paranoid... i just feel i cant understand myself at times- my thoughts or my moods..or anything.. at times thou.. i think i understand others pretty well, but when it comes to me at times... i just dont know.. ya, i know am makin no sense.. anyways..heres a poem i adore ..dat i wrote fcorz ;) no i dint rite it now.. jus felt like readin it.. it kinda comforts me...


Here, alone, I stand by the sea,
Thinking, who's really there for me.

In moments of triumph,I'm surrounded by many,
But, in sadness, I just can't find any.

Sucess and riches, is this what all the
world wants?
Gold and money, how long do they last?

Alone we come into this world, alone we
depart.
Does it mean we should be alone, as long as
life lasts?

Lonely here I am, I wonder alone-
Why is not anyone here?, when I really need
some...

Engulfed in the waves of sadness and misery,
My heart cries and bleeds, heard by no one...

Because, all I was and will be, is
alone... alone... as long as life lasts.

cheers
ABHI

bichde dost

Yesterday I went  to Vibhuti and Gaurav home , my best friend and my neighbour  from school day. After so so many years. Ever since we not passed  skool, we were not in touch for various reasons. vibhuti  is  also into engineering in jaipur  from some other college and Gaurav preparing for CA. Then there was a phase for about  8 yrs in between when I had no clue about them . And now thanx to facebook which helps us to meet once again . 

 Was so damn nice to talk to them. Talked about a lot of things ranging from skool days, to our lives in college and to our present scenarios. And gaurav  was pretty happy abt the fact I cared to find his number and call him for a nice meet . Hopefully, atleast we will be in touch from now on.

A big thanku to facebook  - Wouldn't have been possible without it !! :)

current track:Jaane kyun (jaane kyun) dil jantha hai
Tu hai toh, I’ll be alright
(I’ll be alright, I’ll be alright)
Jaane kyun (jaane kyun) dil jantha hai
(yeh, yeh ,yeh)


cheers!!

~SATISFACTION(desires never ends)

A thought..... isn't it weird that we always want something that does not seem to be coming our way. We crave... we hungry for something that we do not have..... but i guess that's the logic of it... we don't have it so we crave for it and if we had it... would we want more of it or the more we have of somethin.. the less we want to have the more of it?

Strange! don't you think? Why are we never satisfied? The more we get.. the more we want.. or we want something different.

mOODy ,unhappy mOODyI

I am really unhappy really moody about my body, my health...
I dunno why? I just feeling unwell feeling something wrong on my body almost a week !!

Fever, last Saturday but gone.


But still............. WHY????


WHY, I still feeling dizzy??
WHY, I still feeling extremely tired??
WHY, I still feeling extremely sleepy?? some more can sleep almost 24 hours! (excessive! really excessive!!)
WHY, I " wee wee" and " big big" bleeding lot???


What's wrong actually happening inside my body??
"Doctor", the person I scare the most to visit. I gotta checking body but no dare to accept what doctor got to tell me... ><
I crying hard. Because I feeling that I lost my way... ... ... ...
I need someone beside me to accompany me! I no dare to do my ownself, alone... That's really scary~

I dunno what else could I share on my blog, but I got to stop here.. ;(




GOD BLESS! take care....~

My Brain and its ideas

Hi kaise ho ji ...

I was just thinking that now that I have started my blog post , there should be things that make it a good read. My mind kept coming up with weird ideas.
1. Write book reviews! - For that Ill have to keep reading many books. Rejected.
2. Write Bollywood Masala and gossips - too common on blogs! Rejected.
3. Write latest Political updates - If they read what I write, they will do my encounter. Rejected.
4. Put Beautiful Natural Pictures - Boring. Rejected.
5. Write my feelings and emotions - I dont think anybody else, except me would be interested. Rejected.
6. Write my daily routine in detail - Will take lot of time.Rejected.
7. Put in pictures of cockroach (yes that did come to my mind). Eeeuu.... Rejected.
8. Write something interesting that I did today. umm.... well...... ok..... done. Accepted.

So from today onwards, I will write say about 5 lines on something interesting that I did in the day and if i dont get anything interesting to write i will write something computer suffs! hee hee! At least it will add to my archive of daily activities for my own future reference. So my next post is on what I did today. Have not really thought about that as yet. Anyways enjoy reading!

Cheers!

ye hosla kaise juke ...(dor)

I have been listening this music motivation from morning . I like it

A Ray of Hope

Beautiful movie and a beautiful song ...

Yeh Hosla Kaise Juke,
Yeh Aarzoo Kaise Ruke - 2

Manzil Muskil to kya,
Bundla Sahil to kya,
Tanha Ye Dil to Kya
Ho Hooo

Raah Pe Kante Bikhre agar,
Uspe to phir bhi chalna hi hai,
Saam Chhupale Suraj magar,
Raat ko ek din Dhalana hi hai,

Rut ye tal jayegi,
Himmat rang layegi,
Subha phir aayegi
Hoooo

Yeh Hosla Kaise Juke,
Yeh Aarzoo Kaise Ruke - 2

Hogi hame to rehmat ada,
Dhup kategi saaye tale,
Apni khuda se hai ye Dua,
Manzil lagale humko gale

Zurrat so baar rahe,
Uncha Ikraar rahe,
Zinda har pyar rahe
Hoooo

Yeh Hosla Kaise Juke,
Yeh Aarzoo Kaise Ruke - 2